End of the Year Self Portrait

The 11 Point Report.

Do you realize that I blog every 2 months or so?
That's because I'm lazy. No lies.










Mike asked me to blog about the east coast.

So listen up.

I've learned a few things about the east coast.

1. It's not freezing. Yet.
2. There are alot of trees...they're just...everywhere.
3. Baltimore has a very awesome Barnes N Noble. Equipped with see-through escalotors and a balcony cafe.
4. Apparently the Baltimore aquarium is great too, but I've yet to go.
5. Homeschool reviews are not as bad as I thought they would be. Thank the Lord. I was near freaking out about them.
6. There are no Potbellys D: Well there is one, but it's in Baltimore.
7. Washington DC is a cool city, but its best to go to when you're not in a hurry. I also highly reccomend the Smithsonians. Cuz they're free.
8. There is a library WALKING DISTANCE from our place. I. Love. This.
9. Things are alot closer together here. I'm used to driving 30 minutes away for nearly everything, but here everything is 5 minutes away. Ahmazing.
10. There's nothing around here that makes me say, "OH-MY-EAST-COAST-GOODNESS." Except some people have a bit of an accent...almost southern, I think.
11. Also. People around like to "Choose Civility." I have yet to figure out what that means. Besides the obvious.

0.0 Welcome to the East.

The Next Chapter

These ghosts haunt the graveyard of normality.
- Edison Glass

I have another quote for you before I start writing, this one by Mark Twain,

"Anyone looking for a plot will be shot."

Which is me saying, that there was no real reason for that Edison Glass quote, I just happen to love that band. Anywayzzzzzzz.

This specific post has been on my mind for almost a month now. I think I finally know what I can say.

There is no way I can give you a full recap of my summer. If you want to hear about some african adventures then go to this blog --> http://www.707inzambia.blogspot.com/

So many things have happened. For awhile I felt shell shocked. I realize now, that it was chapter of my life. A beautiful, poetic, short chapter with such an amazing ending. If you're a wanderer, or a passerby, or a newcomer, and you don't know me that well, then you may be wondering what I'm talking about.

I've just moved across the country for the second time in the last 3 years. I said I was shell shocked when I moved two months ago. That's nothing compared to how I felt when I was told about having to move. I think I would compare that emotion to drowning in ice cold water. Not to be dramatic or anything.

But I digress (SAT word haha). The point of this post isn't to tell you about how horrible I felt, but how a chapter of my life has come to a close and the next chapter is beginning.

Here it goes.

still here.

This is just to say,

that i haven't died.

I still plan on writing in this

and telling you all about my summer,

just let me catch my breath.

Until then,

enjoy some photototos.

Utoob

projecto!

YUSSS

the playlist is up and working. i probably enjoy it more than my followers haha.

i love project playlist, but its still very glitchey. so must keep an eye on it.

two blog posts in one day!

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here's something i wrote awhile ago for my writers group prompt. we normally take prompts out of books or our fearless leader (mike) will make them up.
This time it was a video ------> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMZwZiU0kKs

The man fell into the chair, sinking submissively. His mind drifted through the dim light of the room, leaving him alone with the warmth of his breath. His eyes shown for a moment and his body uplifted. His foot slid across the floor. His arms bristled. His body found no rythem. His lips cracked without words. But the chair called to him and his mind returned to him. With a sigh he fell, back into the chair and waved his youth "goodbye".

I don't write very long peices and my creative writing style is alot different than my blogging style. I played around with formatting on this one. This is the way I origanally wrote it, but i think it is better read in a way more like this:

But the chair called to him
And his mind returned to him
And with a sigh he fell
Back into the chair
And waved his youth
"goodbye"

i almost like that way better because the breaks in the lines gives more room for interperatation, or at least in my opinion it does. i wrote this way back in september....if the dates on my notebook are correct. i think this summer i'll try and revisit this and hopefully add some length.

"Poetry is a way of taking life by the throat...and punching it in the face."
-William

5 thingstingtingstings

yes.

i haven't given up on this blog. i am still here. so yes.

5 things on my mind right now, dr. pepper, chicago, moving, zambia, and the rest of the weekend.

1) Dr. Pepper. As in i have some right next to the computer. The problem is its not mine. Mine is upstairs. So h/o i'll brb.

...
...
...

2) Chicago. I'm going soon and I'm trying to tie up loose ends for the trip.

3) Moving! YUCK. This is always on my mind in some form or another. It's hard to believe that this is happening. Again. I haven't lived in one place for more than 3 years since before my mom remarried and i won't live in one place for that long till college....where i hope to live in chicago for awhile...till i move to A U S T R A L I A.

4) ZAMBIA---- The trip is coming closer and closer. I'll probably blink and be on the plane. Support is...average. So I'm told. I'm not particularly worried about it because if God wants me to go then he will provide. I'm just waiting.

5) The rest of the weekend. Yeah. Gotta figure that out.

....Does anyone else think fireflight sounds like barlow girl?

weak moments

so this is what it feels like to be a piece of crap?

don't worry i'm not unloading all my drama here.

i just noticed the playlist has been changed. that's annoying. don't judge me on whats playing. i didn't pick it. i don't know why it was changed but it will be fixed shortly.

i lied. i am going to unload my drama here.

i said some not so nice things about someone and my friends went and told that someone. now that someone is upset and i have to apologize for what i said. rightly so. i never should have said it and i feel really terrible about it. i also feel terrible that i have friends i can't trust.

alot of other things went down the last couple of days and basically what sums it up for me: it's really hard to be told you don't deserve something. especially when you believe it.

when i think about some of things i did and i think about all of the people i let down, i really would like to just give up. but that would only make things worse. i've gone down the path of self destruction before and that doesnt end well. the truth is it's never better to run away from the things you've done.

i know what i did wrong and i know what i have to do. it starts with asking God to forgive me and then forgiving myself. i'm done with self-hate.

now i'm going to forgive the friends who betrayed my trust. but i have to say this: if you're going to say one thing to my face and another thing behind my back, i rather not spend any time with you. will my real friends please stand up?

lastly, i'm done with name bashing parties. i suggest the same for you. everyone has weak moments but don't let them get the best of you like i did. even if you're in a group of people who you think wouldn't care or wouldn't tell anyone else, it's still wise to just refrain from it. because honestly, e v e r y o n e has weak moments.

Milllllk

i love ending days with a glass of cold milk. calms the nerves.

i'm on stickam now ---> www.stickam.com/jfelwitharocket

ah the milk's gone.

Days 3-12: DUDE THIS IS A LONG ONE

Day 3 - Spent all day cleaning house or apartment. However you want to say it. It was pretty sad because I couldn't find my awesome sun glasses from Day 2. But not as sad as what happened on Day 9.




Day 4- That was a fun day. The reason we look so tired in the picture is because it's 2 in the morning. EPIC DAY! It was awesome. Had some friends over, watched some movies, ate lots of candy, good talk over pizza. It was about time I had some friends over....first time actually. I really wanted to do it before I moved and it was a sucess haha. check it out on youtube ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1GWKIiylAI


Day 6- We skipped a day. Day 5 is a bit of a blur to me (lack of sleep) and I completely forgot to take a picture. So I'll make it up to you guys by going at this for a day longer. Anyways, This is my favorite. On Day 6, I was able to photograph a Lost Voices promo Concert. Lost Voices is a benefit for incarcerated boys. They teach them how to let out their emotions via writing ---> http://www.lostvoices.org/. They do some really great work with the kids. Plus I love me some folk music. ok moving on....




Day 8: yes i skipped another one. I'm not making an excuse; I just forgot. Day 8 was a fun day. I got to go to youth group. Which honestly is the best day of the week for me. I look a bit frazzled in the picture. I got a bit overwhelmed halfway through the night and that's really hard to shake off. Even hours later... Oh bc I skipped Day 7, I will be doing this project 2 more days longer.


Day 9: yikes. I was tired. Let's just leave it at that. But oh yes I like em bunkbeds and you can see the corner of cardboard sign that says "Jesus was homeless."

Day 10: I like some water. You can't tell but my hair was curly in this picture.


Day 11: I'm gasping at all the stuff I have to do. On the TV: The Wedding Planner. My hair's curly again in this picture.


Day 12: And we to the present. Finally. I'm tired. Not gonna say this was a bad day...but not gonna say this was a fun day. Looking forward to Day 13. Thanks for baring with me.

sorry if the pictures look a bit rough. had some issues with uploading.

Day 1 and 2: NAIL CLIPPERS!

I've decided to do a 2 week project. It involves me taking a picture of myself everyday. Oh the fun! I'm really happy with the way the first ones came out =)

That was Day 1. or yesterday. If this picture says anything to you it should go something like this: DEAR LORD!

And here's Day 2:

I am very very tired today. Late nights and early mornings tend to be like that. I made it through Districts for forensics. Mixed feelings about that. I have to say its nice to win something but I really wanted to be able to cross forensics off of my humongo list of things to do. But it looks like that's not gonna happen. So here's to winning! (that was sarcasm.)

I think my pictures really reflect how I felt these past two days. I'm feeling ever so slightly

O V E R W H E L M E D. Right now, today, it's come down to perseverance. If I can make it through the week then I'll be alright. So please. Excuse me if I get a bit a little scatter brained. I'm doing the best I can.

On a lighter note, I love these pictures. Especially the nail clippers under my arm in both of them haha.

ICAN'TWAITFORTHEWEEKEND!

tuesday

Give Me Some of That Stuff

wow, I'm just not making sense today. I like Weezer but really honestly I am not on drugs. I am just really, really, tired. I feel like I'm walking through water. I did actually have one of those dreams this morning where its like "icantmoveican'tmove." (my dream thoughts run together like that.)

my day is starting to feel, well like amazingphil's bad day:




and also like this:


ok maybe not quite like that. but i can tell it will be tomorrow.

no seriously.

I got home this morning and the brownies were almost gone. Which of course is not a bad thing, but it does mean that we are almost out of brownies =O

nosleeponsaturday

I have the joy of giving a 7:00 minute speech tomorrow. (Why don't they spell peach like speech or vice versa? just wondering...) It's funny because this will be my 10th compitition yet everytime I enter the room (that only ever contains up to a happy number of 8 people give or take) I always feel somewhat like this...



omygoodnesswhydidisignmyselfupforthisi'mgonnadiei'mgonnadiewouldanyonenoticeifijusthidinthebathroomthewholetimeomygoodnessi'mgonnadiepleaselordmakeitstopwhyamidoingthisidon'tevenenjoycompetingnononoidon'twanttogofirsti'mgonnadie



or something along those lines. I've been told public speaking is the number one fear in America which I never really believed until I experienced Forensics and the MIFA. (If you're not familiar with either I'm not gonna bother explaining it because it's too complicated. But I don't want you to be left in the dark either so here educate yourself --->http://www.themifa.org/)



I enjoy the writing of the speech and the making of the visual aids but shiver at the thought of actually giving it. It's not a happy feeling. But one thing I always liked about the competitions was being able to see the inside of a high school. Being homeschooled and all it tends to be an enlightening experience. The thing that I never quite understood where the motivational posters. I mean seriously does the school system make the teachers hang those up? .....I hope they do...



By the way, I'm considering going to public school next year. Though I don't know if I will go through with it considering I don't have all credits that a sophomore should have. BUT if I can swing it without being put back a grade then I think I might actually like it. Who knows really... They make you meet with counselors and take lots of tests and provide transcripts and all that other crap so I'm not sure it will be possible. And for the record it's not because I hate or even dislike homeschooling. I LOVE homeschooling with a big <3 class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">homeschooled to make friends. So I'm thinking that I would rather suffer through the public school system than have to go through that again. But really I do love homeschooling. And the government can go lick some ice. They don't tell me what to learn.

Anyways I have to go work on my speech. I'll tell you how it goes tomorrow.



I LOVE CATS!

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That was written 2 days ago on Friday. The tournament went ok. There were six people in my category which was nice because that meant we all got a trophy. I got third which I'm not happy about. 3rd...out of 6...Not exactly impressive. So that was dissapointing. I have to say the best part of my day was defenitely when I got home and fixed me a big can of lentil soup (the pull tab worked this time).

This Is An Ode

to how much I hate irony.

DARN IT ALL!

BOO

This is my scary face. You know I'm really tired today so i'm gonna right this train of thought style...and I just realized that this can of soup i'm trying to open with a can opener has a pull tab...great... Headbands give me mushroom head. It's awesome... Really... this pull tab isn't coming off... RAWR! FEEL MY STRENGTH PULL TAB! GIRL POWER!....yum lentil soup....I heard coldplay is sued for plagerism....yay...and the other hand youtube is taking off mitchell davis's videos b.c he didn't have artist permission or whatever...that's not good....it was cold this morning...and then the sun came out and it was warm... how corny...i went to costco today...they sell underwear in bulk... and it left me thinking...wow...i had a package of hot coco in my bag and forgot about it...and then i went to get my camera out and there was all the brown dust on it....and i was like "what the crap?!....ooo....right..."....went to the mall today....got some chow mein from the chinese place...except it wasn't chow mein...it was actually spaghetti noodles dressed as chow mein....RIPOFF!...

That was ten minutes in my head. Sorry to put you through that.

....lentil soup....

Always Winter But Never Christmas

Ok its fine in December but I'm starting to get sick of this. This whole winter wonderland thing...

A really good book to read---> Serve God, Save The Planet by Matthew Sleeth

Amazing book i think. One of those books that will change the way you look at things. Sort of like Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution. Claiborne and Sleeth found me in a place where I worried if there wasn't more to this christian faith and they reassured me that there was. They encourage Christians that see problems in our culture and give us a push to do something about it. Just some really, really good guys with something to say.

I promise my next post will be longer and not about books but for right now I'm telling you go to your library and READ THESE BOOKS. But beware they'll make you want to sell all of your possessions and live every second of your life for God.

Connect and Realign

mitchell davis is probably my favorite youtube celeb. he makes me laugh. He's also a talented photog. Seriously check out his flicker ---> http://www.flickr.com/photos/livelavalive

watching his videos is like dancing to nsync while drinking pepsi.

caffeinated amazingness.

I'll Fly Away

In search for something to write, someone (being Keith) said to me, if I'm going to be writing about myself I should include my testimony. That's a good point.

My testimony isn't how hard it was for me to find Jesus or how I drifted away and God brought me back. If anything it's how God has kept me close. I don't know how to explain it, but I've always felt protected. It's not so much what has happened to me but what hasn't. It's amazing, because I know other people go through things like I have and alot of them don't come out in one piece. But I'm still here and I'm able to tell you how much I love God. And I find that to be a miracle.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you my life story, but I will tell you how grateful I am for God giving me a mother who has taken me to church from the beginning and surrounding me throughout my life with good people.

I'm not saying that I've never hit rocky times with my relationship with Christ. And I'm not saying that I've had a perfect life. There have been times when I felt like my life couldn't get any worse, it would. But the thing is I made it through all that and I'm here now.

I just know I'm blessed. Do you?

"My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and savior - from violent men you save me." - 2 Samuel 22:3

This Is Me

This would be me.

Just thought i'd open with some pictures to help you get to know me better...

In a sentence:

I'm a really impatient christian girl with a sleep deficit that would mess with any persons head, who has alot of spare time and spends it mainly on the internet, listening to music, reading, or writing .

You would most likely find me in the middle of a some random aisle at Barnes & Noble drinking a steamer and pouring over some book. Depending on the day I could look like a child, a college student, or maybe, just maybe, my age. My makeup could be heavy and smudged or I might have clean face. I might even look a little drugged up but that's just genes. I say alot of things without thinking and sometimes think a little too much without saying anything. Jesus is my everything and when I forget that I fall. I get heated in an argument and often lose. I'm wrong alot. So don't don't believe everything I say. I can take a joke...depending on how much sleep I had the night before...That being said, I will think things through before I write them in this blog. Or at least try.

So...

My name is Jessica.

I like books and people.

Boring right?

Only on sundays.

A note about the title of this blog: Look up William Carlos Williams.