weak moments

so this is what it feels like to be a piece of crap?

don't worry i'm not unloading all my drama here.

i just noticed the playlist has been changed. that's annoying. don't judge me on whats playing. i didn't pick it. i don't know why it was changed but it will be fixed shortly.

i lied. i am going to unload my drama here.

i said some not so nice things about someone and my friends went and told that someone. now that someone is upset and i have to apologize for what i said. rightly so. i never should have said it and i feel really terrible about it. i also feel terrible that i have friends i can't trust.

alot of other things went down the last couple of days and basically what sums it up for me: it's really hard to be told you don't deserve something. especially when you believe it.

when i think about some of things i did and i think about all of the people i let down, i really would like to just give up. but that would only make things worse. i've gone down the path of self destruction before and that doesnt end well. the truth is it's never better to run away from the things you've done.

i know what i did wrong and i know what i have to do. it starts with asking God to forgive me and then forgiving myself. i'm done with self-hate.

now i'm going to forgive the friends who betrayed my trust. but i have to say this: if you're going to say one thing to my face and another thing behind my back, i rather not spend any time with you. will my real friends please stand up?

lastly, i'm done with name bashing parties. i suggest the same for you. everyone has weak moments but don't let them get the best of you like i did. even if you're in a group of people who you think wouldn't care or wouldn't tell anyone else, it's still wise to just refrain from it. because honestly, e v e r y o n e has weak moments.

Milllllk

i love ending days with a glass of cold milk. calms the nerves.

i'm on stickam now ---> www.stickam.com/jfelwitharocket

ah the milk's gone.